around the world in katie days

i have a fetish for take-out coffee cups.

when i was younger, i fixated on men and women i'd see strolling to work, take-out coffee cups in hand, full of long strides with tailored jackets and polished shoes.

i knew even then, when i was old enough to buy my own coffee, it would mean i'd arrived. i, too, would join the ranks of these young professionals - really going places, brashly building my own future, fierce and fearless and fabulous.

you'd think i'd have stepped out of such silliness by now, but i can't let it go. it's like magic, the way that sippie-lidded paper cup transforms you. one moment, i'm working part time with absolutely no idea what i'm doing with my life - the next, i'm bold, brilliant, and well on my way to being the next donald trump.

i harbor no illusions. i realize this obsession with take away coffee is ridiculous, yet i still find myself hoarding the cups, using them over and over again with the tea bags i keep stashed in my purse, pathetic in my need for the powerful aura which surrounds that flimsy paper cup with its thoughtful cardboard sleeve.

fancy coffees frighten me. i don't want to order a triple soy latte with three pumps of caramel macchiato and a dash of espresso-flavored foam. i am afraid the counter person will lean over, fix me with a beady eye and know, with the gut instinct of a natural born coffee afficianado, that i'm a fraud. no, i keep it simple.

the second i hand over my cash, i retreat to the side, watching the greedy brutes who approach the counter, silently warning them to keep their hands off my paper cup. i wait for that 2/3rds full chai tea latte which will transform me into the most put-together, efficient, and successful person in the world.

Fresh from a trip to the floating market at Damnoen Saduak, my friend Donna and I were offered the opportunity to watch a snake show, advertised as “the most exciting show in the world.” We couldn’t possibly resist, so we boarded a small air-conditioned van and off we went.

In the small arena, Donna and I decided to live adventurously and choose seats off to the side – not the seats tucked safely behind some shallow water and a glass partition, but ones completely open to the ring. After a brief introduction to “the most exciting show in the world,” an announcer began a play-by-play, while festive music filled the small building. The show began with cobras in brown sacks. Three men shook the sacks and then dumped the snakes into the ring. They kept provoking them, and then catching them with their bare hands, until the cobras were absolutely furious. The men then brought out four new snakes, more gigantic than the others, and provoked them as well – only this time, the snakes began lunging towards the audience, and the men would catch them by the end of the tail just before the snakes escaped. Needless to say, we were regretting our choice of seating at this point. Watching a livid, hissing cobra fly towards you isn’t something I ever want to experience again. After this scary display, a glass tank was wheeled in, which contained both a cobra and a mongoose. Now, from watching Rikki Tikki Tavi as a child, I knew cobras and mongooses are deadly enemies. (In case you haven’t had the pleasure, this cartoon movie is based on Rudyard Kipling’s book about a brave young mongoose; I would suggest if you’ve never seen it to find a copy). I never thought I’d see a live fight; however, that’s exactly what happened next. After an intense few minutes where the animals circled and lunged at one another, during most of which we watched with our eyes closed (no small feat), the tank was wheeled away and a tie declared, as the “snake men” wouldn’t allow either animal to be injured. The show ended with a man who promised us he could catch three vipers at once. As he only had two hands – unless he was hiding a third under his shirt somewhere - how he’d catch all three was a mystery, so Donna and I craned forward in our seats in order to catch everything. After a few tense moments, the snake man came up with a viper in each hand – and one in his mouth. I don’t even want to venture a guess as to how he did it, and I cannot imagine ever being so brave as to catch a live viper in my mouth. Adrenaline pumping, Donna and I left the arena and collapsed into our van.

Watch a cobra show on youtube!

While bumming around Bangkok, my friend Donna and I decided it necessary to visit the floating market in Damnoen Saduak. From a friendly travel shop just off Khao San Road, we purchased tickets for a day tour beginning the following morning.

On the day of our trip, we woke early and were picked up by a small van, which delivered us a few kilometers from the market. We then boarded longboats to be taken for a fast ride through the canals connecting the Mae Klong and the Tacheen Rivers. Thai people live clustered along the canals, and you’ll get a great view of how they live, passing orchards, traditional teak homes, and people going about their daily lives while you gawk (politely) from your longboat. 10-15 minutes of this fast, zigzagging ride and suddenly, you’re in the floating market. It’s pure chaos – longboats piled high with vegetables, fresh produce, and homemade wares, paddled by stooped men and women wearing straw hats, ready to bargain the second someone eyes their boat. The sides of the canal are bustling with stalls selling everything from paintings to silks to carved wooden animals to clothing. It’s a riot of color, noise, and commotion, with so many things to look at you’d need at least a hundred eyeballs. It’s a bit touristy, but great fun.

Although you probably won’t notice (at least, I didn’t), when you’re being loaded into your longboat, a photographer will come round and snap your photo. As we were leaving the market area, a woman came running up to us and asked, in broken English, if we wanted our plate. Donna and I looked at each other – our plate? The woman gestured us to follow her, and so we did, right to a stall covered with commemorative plates. You know, those weird ones people sometimes have hanging out their walls? Well, Donna’s family home in South Africa now features one, two girls beaming (or in my case, bug-eyed and half-crazed looking) from a plastic plate.

4th of July fireworks! www.petswelcome.com

The fourth is a day for family, friends, fireworks, and – you guessed it – food. From crab feasts to weenie grilling to full-fledged pig roasts (nothing says happy Independence Day, America, like a giant hog on a spit), Americans celebrate their national holiday with loads of tasty treats. Potato salad, hot dogs, hamburgers, ribs, and corn on the cob top the lists, among other traditional fares. But what about beverages? The usual Fourth of July celebration staples are bottled water, juice/soda for the kiddies, and beer. To be fair, that’s really all you need, but maybe this year it’s time to branch out a bit. Sure, it’s America’s Independence Day, but that doesn’t mean you can’t get festive and dazzle your guests with an array of beverages from around the world! Add a bit of spice to your cookout with these delicious drinks.

Soju – traditionally made from rice, this Korean liquor is clear in color and similar to vodka. Be wary – if you’ve never had Soju before, it sneaks up on you like a saber-toothed tiger and the morning after is the worst you’ll ever have.

Guinness – this heart healthy choice, hailing from Ireland, is one of the most famous national drinks in the world. Consuming more than five is guaranteed to give you an Irish accent.

Caesar – this Canadian bloody mary-esque concoction is easy to make, and perfect for breakfast. Have one while preparing your potato salad. For more, please see Hail Caesar!

Tequila – olé! Mexicans drink their tequila straight, but I think its best served with a wedge of lemon and lots of salt. Watch out for the tequila worm – I’ve heard it's good luck to eat it, but I’ve serious doubts.

Sake – although Sake day is officially October 1st, as declared by the Japan Sake Brewers Association in 1978, there’s no reason to deny yourself a cup of the tasty liquor. It tastes best served warm.

Absinthe – if you’re in the mood for a little wormwood, drink some of this Switzerland originated spirit. However, if your guests begin complaining of having tulips on their legs (perhaps channeling Oscar Wilde), chances are they’re on something else. While absinthe has widely been berated as hallucinogenic, there is no concrete evidence it is any more dangerous than an ordinary spirit.

Ouzo – this Greek liquor is traditionally sipped slowly with appetizers and friends over a period of several hours in the evening. Perfect if you’ve a lawn chair and lots of catching up to do.

Mojito – this refreshing rum-based drink from Cuba is perfect for a hot, sunny day. It’s traditionally made with 5 main ingredients: white rum, sugar, lime, ice, and mint. Use fresh mint from your garden if you’ve got – it’ll work as a breath freshener, as well.

Cachaça - this sugary Brazilian liquor is often used as the main ingredient in the Caipirinha cocktail, which is Cachaça mixed with lime and sugar. Its alcohol content can be up to 48% proof, so please don’t drink much if you plan on functioning properly for the evening.